Dream recording: Inside Tashua, wrapping up my last day of work, I'm asking Brian (in reality, a current coworker) to get the Transformers magazines/pictures he was using for a project so I can take them home. He looks around the room he was working in, but they aren't there. I realize I already have them. Then, walking home, some Indian guy driving a Prius the same color as Prerna's Mustang with she and Neha in tow pulls up. I keep walking, but then I turn around and she says "Ha! You looked back." She gets out and tries to talk to me, and I say only "I don't want to talk about it." To which she replies, "That's why I'm trying to change the subject." We get to my house (the others have disappeared), and I put on some music I want her to hear, by which she is totally unimpressed but listens to a lot of it anyway. Then I woke up. I don't think it told me anything I didn't already know, except the first part was interesting: looking for something I already had.
Waking up is still the worst feeling in the world.
The dream had me in such a state of distraction today. I'm so incompetent at this job. I almost flipped over the Bobcat and killed myself today. I wouldn't say I was being careless, I was going as slow as possible and watching my path, but looking backwards I lose some control over steering. So, backing into a narrow trail with a steep slope on either side, I tried to correct for the error I made the first time I went this way (bearing towards the upward slope and tipping on some rocks) and over-corrected into some weeds obscuring the edge of the trail. If I hadn't had 600 lbs of gravel in the back, I would have gotten fucked up. This is why I am very nervous about learning to drive. Every time my mom has taken me out to practice, I feel less comfortable than the last. I have a bad feeling about cars (death pods).
The hiatus is over. (Or is it?) Almost exactly three months.